What Happens in Class, Doesn’t Stay in Class II

  • While a girl was trying to figure out what languages I speak, she asked, “German? Spanish? Italianish?”
  • A student legitimately asked me, “How long have you been learning English?” and I stood there flabbergasted until the teacher said, “Think of what a stupid question that is! She comes from America! She’s been speaking English her whole life!”
  • I finally met the elusive Ak (it took F one whole year to realize that Ak was one of her colleagues), and I can see why. I didn’t think it was possible, but Ak, along with R at Méchain, are quieter than I am and thus have serious issues keeping their classes under control—the students are horrifically behaved and talk the entire time, so it’s beyond awkward for me to be in the room with those two teachers.
    • One girl in Ak’s class said “No no no I don’t believe that” when I said that I liked France better than the US and then called me crazy for not choosing to be an assistant in the south of France. Child, don’t give me that attitude. You know nothing about my life. (I’ll confess that I had fun answering her questions with outrageous lies that would’ve been obvious if you know me.)
  • With the amount of kids asking me if I prefer Trump or Clinton, I’m actually morbidly curious as to what would happen if an assistant replied Trump.
  • One girl straight up told me, “Let me give you some advice. Take the train to Paris because here it is a dead city.” Good to know that the children of Laon hate it.
  • Several kids have said that R-MC looks like Disneyland. They’re so young, so innocent.
  • When a student asked if I had a boyfriend, I said no, and then two boys loudly exclaimed, “Yes!” I don’t think they’ve realized that they have absolutely no chance.
  • Jt told a student that he should try eating peanut butter with Nutella, and he got this look of utter disgust on his face. I don’t think that kid has lived if he thinks peanut butter and chocolate is disgusting.
    • I then proceeded to depress one of her classes by explaining why I don’t believe in the “American dream.” I know, I’m so patriotic.
  • Someone asked me if I’ve ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more horrified to learn that a high school girl has watched the movie. And liked it.
  • A class protested, “But you said you don’t have a boyfriend!” when I showed them a picture of one of my professors and me. I’ve been sufficiently scarred for life. Why must heteronormativity exist?
  • After I told a class about R-MC’s annual tuition, one girl raised her hand and asked, “Are you rich?” Sweetie, I wish we were living in a world where student debt isn’t real.
  • I was on the verge of falling asleep before walking into a class, but these 15-year-old babies were so excited to see me that I became wide awake. Although poor M-L had no idea what was going on while they happily fired away with questions such as, “Do you like Pokémon/Troye Sivan/The 100/Bioshock/Teen Wolf/Fast and Furious/Pretty Little Liars/The Hunger Games? (Also, what on earth is up with the French obsession with The Walking Dead?)
  • I won over this class full of boys when I confirmed that I play Pokémon Go, and then one of them shouted, “I love you!” after I said that the Tenth Doctor was my favorite.
  • To the two boys muttering to each other in disbelief when I said I was 22, I just want you know that I could understand your French. Every word of it.

4 thoughts on “What Happens in Class, Doesn’t Stay in Class II

  1. Lisa Knitter says:

    “She’s been speaking English her whole life!” – finally a workable smackdown?
    – also who lets their kids read/ watch 50 shades?
    – are you allowed to tell them you know French?

    • Sarena says:

      -yes, in fact, I might steal that smackdown
      -I don’t even want to know
      -some of the teachers refuse to let me speak French and honestly it’s more amusing to pretend I don’t know any

  2. rmcoie says:

    You’re killing me, this is so hilarious to read!! All Europeans “let” their read/watch 50 shades – my American kids have been scandalized by frontal nudity in German films rated ok for 6 years and up on multiple occasions. Sex and bodies are part of life over there.

    Quite the fan club you’re accumulating – you’ll leave a trail of broken boy hearts when you leave!

    • Sarena says:

      The sex and nudity dont bother me, it’s the fact that I’ve heard very questionable things about consent when it comes to the books and movie. It’s honestly a toss up as to whether these kids are hilarious and adorable or ill-behaved!

      Ha, they’ll survive the broken hearts. It’ll be okay.

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