Despite having once been a child myself, I will honestly never understand why kids say half the things they do:
- Student: “When did you dye your hair black?”
- Me: “I never dyed it black! What do you think my natural hair color was?”
- Her: “Dark brown, like that strip right there.”
- Me: *tries desperately not to laugh because she’s talking about my bleached strip*
- Me, teaching: “Does anyone know what an antonym is?”
- Student: “Stop using these white words!”
- Me: “Do I look white?”
- It was a student’s birthday, and I heard he was going to Chuck-E-Cheese’s, so I asked him, “Who do you want to go?” He replied, “You!” and I told him I wish I could but had to get my eyes checked because City Years sadly aren’t allowed to interact with our students at non-school-sponsored events. His response? A gasp, followed by, “You have to get surgery?!?”
- Me: “Can you give me a synonym for ‘scary’?”
- Student: “White!”
- Me: …oh.
- P, after drawing a smiley face on my hand: “It has glasses because you have glasses!”
- Student, after giving me her indecipherable drawing: “It’s a pregnant plum in a blanket!”
- Zohar: “K, you’re beautiful.”
- K: “I know.”
- Zohar: “A, do you like girls or boys better?”
- A: “Neither! I want to be a bird because they’re beautiful. And I want to eat a worm.”
- A student who’s convinced I’m wearing a wig: “Don’t touch me, Wiggy.” During the past week, she has continued to refer to me as Wiggy and her favorite phrase is now, “Let’s go, Wiggy.” When I told her to pull on my hair to prove that it’s not a wig, she declared, “You sewed it onto your head.”
- I told one of my favorite students he’s a nerd because he asked if he could do his homework instead of doing something fun in afterschool, and he went, “I’m not a nerd! I don’t have glasses! And my pants aren’t rolled up!” (He is a nerd though. He likes getting homework.)
- A, after placing a piece of broken lollipop on my hand: “Will you marry me?”
- She’s so weird. We watched Hidden Figures in afterschool for Fun Friday, and during a romantic dance scene, and she turned to me and exclaimed “Ms. Sarena, only City Years can watch this. Kids can’t watch it. I know what’s going to happen next. They’re going to go to a hotel—” and then I immediately shushed her because why does she know this???
She’s also gifted Zohar and me with artwork—including a devil rainbow—and seashells:
- Several of my students, instead of giving me high fives with their hands, use their heads instead…?
- Not a direct quote, but my one of students won the K-2 spelling bee and went on to compete in the 3-5 spelling bee, and then she came in 4th place. So proud of my little 2nd grader!