Things Kids Say, Pt. VIII

Somehow, ten months have passed, and I have two days left with a bunch of ridiculous, brilliant, hilarious, and adorable second graders.

  • While hugging me, L serenaded me with “Won’t you stay with me / Because you’re all I need.”
  • S: “I would live in Mexico because they have a lot of tacos.”
  • Drama king, curled up at the top of the slide on the hottest day of afterschool: “I’m dying, I’m dying from the heat. Shame on you, I see you laughing at me.”
    • He’s also developed the habit of calling me a nerd because I wear glasses. (Oh no! He’s seen my true colors.)
    • During one whole recess, he did nothing but say, “I’m going to take a leak.”
  • T, a child who’s literally in love with me: “I’m dumb, I’m bad at math.”
    • Me: “No you’re not! I’m bad at math, am I dumb?”
    • T: “You’re bad at math? We’re twins!” *hugs me* “Don’t ever leave me!”
  • Many of our kids misspelled “thought” as “thot” on their practice spelling tests, and Ms. K and I were deeply amused.
  • A: “I married you because you’re full of hope sosososo much hope.”
  • N: “I want to be an old lady.”
    • Me: “Why?”
    • N: “Because they get to do whatever that want.”
  • I was working on similes during small group tutoring, and when I put down the simile “as busy as…” on the table, C said, “As busy as every president but Donald Trump.” She’s so savage. I love her. (Yes, even though she calls me Wiggy. The girl will never be convinced that my hair is real.)
  • T: “How do you say ‘marry me’ in French?”
    • Me: “Mariez-moi.”
    • Him: “Mariez-moi! Mariez-moi!” Why are my kids obsessed with marrying me? They’re in 2nd grade. I worry.
  • A, at recess: looks at me, and then (lightly) punches me in the stomach, saying, “I’m going to kill your baby.” She’s so weird.
  • N: “Can you buy me a dead body?”
    • Me: “No! You can’t sell dead bodies.”
    • Her: “But I want to make a mummy. Don’t make me go to a cemetery and dig up a grave.”
    • Me and Ms K: “N, that’s illegal. You can go to jail for exhuming a body.”
  • I died laughing at O, the space cadet, because he was excitedly showing me a comic. Turns out that, in his excitement, he forgot to zip his backpack, and it was hanging upside down on his arm, all his belongings falling out in a trail that led from the cafeteria to the stairwell.
  • Me, looking at N’s paper: “You need a topic sentence.”
    • N, looking up at me: “You’re horrible!”

2 thoughts on “Things Kids Say, Pt. VIII

  1. Tammi Reichel says:

    I’ve loved every one of your posts about this incredible group of kids, Sarena. Will miss these little insights into kid brains as you move on to grad school, but of course can’t wait for the next chapter! Thank you for continuing to write and share!!!

    • Sarena says:

      I’ve loved every moment (okay, almost every moment) with these amazing children. I’ll miss them so much, but I also can’t wait to return to my nerd roots. Thank you for always reading my posts!

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